


For Want of a Reason

by Brutal_Harrier



Category: Octopath Traveler, project octopath traveler
Genre: Angst, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, fun with internalized homophobia, i'm straight up projecting onto olberic but no one's stopping me so, introspective, like a lot more of that then last time sorry, lord help me i'm still on my bullshit, this time i got my homework done before writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 12:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12254157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brutal_Harrier/pseuds/Brutal_Harrier
Summary: Eight years ago he lost his reason to wield his sword. But he also lost something else.





	For Want of a Reason

“Philip’s getting to that age where he needs a father”

Olberic nods in understanding like he always does, and pretends he doesn’t hear what she leaves unsaid. Still that’s as far as she takes it and for that he’s grateful. But he must always be careful and extra careful because a man of his stature with his level of reluctance invites a host of questions he doesn’t have answers to.

Men of good standing must be in want of a wife. It’s a phrase he’s heard many many times repeated both in jest and in earnest. Yet it's always given him pause, and he knows why, _god_ he knows why but to admit that truth he’d have to admit many others and he just couldn’t not now and maybe not ever.

So instead of admitting things he made excuses, it had been child’s play when he’d been in the service of King Alfred. ‘A knight has no time for such pursuits.’  ‘I’d make a truly pitiful husband for any poor girl who got stuck with me.’ I’ve just never felt the right spark.’ All not necessarily lies but none of them quite managed to touch upon the truth.

But now no longer wielding his true name or previous obligations made things trickier. Of course he could lie, fashion himself a fake wife, make himself a pitiful widower, and maybe even throw in a few lost children to tie the story together. Any man in that situation would have ample reason to spend the rest of his days alone. Yet he couldn’t find it in himself to go that far in fact the idea left a bitter taste in his mouth. There was a level of deception he had to use to secure his place in this town and going beyond that felt like a betrayal of the very ideas that made up his core.

There was the possibility of telling the truth, the real truth but he threw that out immediately. He’d assuredly be run out of town for having the gall to admit it, for being proud of something like that, and Philip, he’d surely feel betrayed it might even affect his ability to trust in the future. No the truth had never been an option.

So for the time being he’ll keep forcing a smile, nodding along, and pretending he feels like he belongs here.


End file.
